Monday, 4 May 2015

My Kids v's Sexualised Society......may god be with them.

Having been part of the internet dating scene for the best part of three years now, I have to say, I'm wilting under the shallowness of it all. Has the user base of the rightfully maligned website 'Plenty of Fish' always been like this, or has the process of dating online warped their brains? I really hope it's the latter because, if not, I was wrong about society and numpties are now heavily outnumbering the good normal folk like myself. Pat Benatar declared love a "battlefield" back in the 80', it's a thermonuclear bloodbath.

It must be said, I consider myself to be the most romantic person I've ever met, not once have I met anyone who even comes close. It's a bit depressing being the worlds most romantic person, it's just one big disappointment after another, my expectations are unreasonably people need to seriously up your game. The fact that I've brought two kids into a world so lacking in chivalry and ever-decreasing standards, worries me hugely.

The whole debacle is why I took taking my daughter out yesterday so seriously, I consciously felt the need to show her how I think a bloke should behave when taking a girl out for dinner! Opening doors, pulling out her chair.....not as she went to sit on it....although I've always found that hilarious, nobody ever does it anymore, it's a shame to delete such a great prank out from our culture. I listened to her stories.....although that's more to do with the fact I couldn't get a word in edgeways, standard female trait. I even protected her from strangers by taking her to the loo with me whilst I took a dump......I really hope that part of the day doesn't stay with her.....she's at that age now where memories will stay with her forever.

Talking about memories, do all parents take it easy for the first few years of their childrens lives, knowing that they won't remember any of it anyway....before really starting to make an effort once they think it's safe to assume the memories will start to stick? I'm not saying those first 3 years or so doesn't shape their personality, but do they make as much of a difference as the following three? I've just watched a wretched film called 'Lucy', an action version of the infinitely superior 'Limitless' where she takes a drug that allows her to use more than the 10% of her brain that we're supposedly able to access. Apparently, when you get to 100%, you become the Lawnmower man.....there's 90 minutes or so of my life I'll never get back. Anyway, she was remembering how her mothers breast milk tasted, do those memories actually still exist in there? I could do without that to be honest, I'm fine with the 10%.....actually, I'm probably running on 2.4%, I'm not one for delusions of grandeur.

I'd like my children to figure it out for themselves, but how can I trust they'll get the right idea from the conditions now facing them in modern society? Although, what I'm looking for in a person may not be what they'll look for in possible friends and relationships when they're older, is it even worth worrying about?!
Whilst providing a busy generation an alternative way of meeting people, my ultimate conclusion of internet dating is that it's one of the most damaging and negative aspects of the internet in general, easily accessible porn only exacerbates the problem. I can perfectly see and feel how it's changed my perception of not only other people, but how my own wants and needs have been affected by the shallow superficial nature of it all. If we're only able to use 10% of our brains now, I can only see that figure decreasing with the onset of technology and our over reliance on it.

I've fallen into the trap of going on dates with people that the only connection was a purely physical one....I've lost count of the amount of people I've turned down simply because they didn't match with the image I've built up in my head that amounts to the perfect "type", despite the fact that our personalities seemed a good match. To choose aesthetics over persona is a pretty depressing way to go about things, even more so when you realise you're doing it. This is hardly ground-breaking stuff, but it's an ever-increasing popular agenda in our minds. We're more aware of our image than ever before, it starts from an early age too. As I sat there with my daughter watching Disney on Ice yesterday, I couldn't help but notice how stereotypically attractive everyone was......and how often the script would point out how "beautiful", "perfect" and "handsome" the characters were. Is this really healthy?

I don't know whether I'm just overthinking this, I mean, I AM overthinking it, it's what I do, but it's definitely a problem where not only are the minds of grown-ups being poisoned by cheap, facile messages and lifestyles, we're passing that on to children in their most formative's an epidemic that's only going to get worse. Aside from a better looking population, I can't think of anything good that's going to come from it.
That's why I'm conscious of the things I say to my kids, I'm currently the biggest role model in their lives, I might aswell use these halcyon days to shape them into decent people as much as I can before they start looking elsewhere for advice and inspiration. It's inevitable that they will, but hopefully I will have instilled enough common sense into them that, by that stage, they'll be able to see through the nonsense and make good decisions. If the rest of you could start following suit, it'd be greatly appreciated.

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