Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Does ANYBODY like Russell Brand?

Ok, so I will happily admit that my journey to a semi-permanent state of clarity of thought came about whilst getting caught up within the Russell Brand and his 'state-the-obvious without ever really detailing how it's all possible' political road-show.

He's never been everyone's cup of tea.....nobody is liked by everyone....if people do find themselves in that position, they usually begin to be hated for merely being liked or likable. I do find that a little bit of a stain on the mindset of humanity. I'm the same, I dislike lots of people because they're "too nice" or "popular". Why does that happen? Have I become instinctively bitter towards certain types of people? Do I yearn to be like them? Am I following the jeering hate-mob? Or is it just inherent in us humans to be repelled by the notion of perfection, even though it's what so many people want. We know that perfection is an impossible dream, so if someone comes across like they've reached that promised land, they must just be false, right? John Barrowman, I'm looking at you.

I was going to say that it was like the idea of becoming rich. We all day-dream occasionally of winning the lottery. It doesn't matter how many times we're told that it wouldn't make us happy.....but isn't that just a line fed to the masses to placate our disappointment that in reality, 99.9% (that's an official figure, from the office of official universal statistics) of us will never be free from the skin-trade.....yeah, I'm a Durannie, what of it?

Russell is constantly telling us that the fame and fortune that he craved; and grasped, never made him fulfilled. The problem with this argument is, I see lots of other people seemingly rather content with it all. If everyone in that top 5% came out and said "we're not happy, we're gonna leave our mansions and pull our kids out of expensive private schools to come and live in your shitty neighbourhoods"....I might think, "shit, I really was lucky all along, I do have everything I need, Lassie!".

The only reason I'm writing all this, is because I'm starting to lose faith in it all. I used to look at his following of 3.5m Facebook fans and 10 trillion Twitter Followers and used that information as confirmation that this was who I should be listening too. Don't get me wrong, I still do like listening to him, whether or not I agree with what he's saying. He's engaging and says a lot of good stuff (I'm quite the wordsmith, I know). BUT! I don't think I've come across, in person, anyone who likes him. Nobody! Not one! It does make you wonder who these millions of people are....and where they're from.

Is this all just another, albeit much larger, Jamie Oliver scenario.....where he used to have "friends" over for dinner. Remember his first series "The Naked Chef"? He'd go to the market on his Lambretta with his Union Jack helmet whilst we'd all be forced to listen to his 'Music to cook to' compilation CD that could have doubled up as 'Music to be tortured to' at Guantanamo bay as they cooked live human flesh on an electrocution rack, mmmmm, delicious. Whilst I'm talking about compilation albums, I saw a Power Ballads one being advertised the other day. It's just the same as the previous 10,000 entries, only they've modernised it by whacking on Emeli Sande track on it, which wasn't even a Power Ballad. Just face facts, the Power Ballad as we knew it, has ceased to exist......WHY IS EVERYTHING ANNOYING ME?!

So back to Jamie. He's picked his 'fresh' ingredients now. He's told us they're fresh and that there's no excuse to not buy fresh, buy fresh you scumbags, your kids shoes aren't more important than fresh herbs. If you don't buy ingredients that aren't fresh, where they're going, they won't need shoes (I have no idea what I meant by that). He'd then scurry on home with a big smile on his face before cooking a feast fit for a bunch of f**king actors! I'd seen them all on Casualty at some point, all of them.....you didn't fool me Jamie. I think the word "Pucka" was used as some kind of Jedi mind trick, to trigger of something in your brain that distracted you from the whole charade. The medication they gave me for my paranoia is playing havoc with my sense of logic.

So how did Russell Brand find 3.5 MILLION extra's from Casualty? I know it's a long running saga but that's alot of carnage with an extension lead and a hedge trimmer (only storyline I can remember). No wonder A&E departments are struggling. I don't have a problem finding people who like people I can't stand, they're everywhere. I've even scoured the 'Likes' list and I can't find Noel Gallagher or Morrissey in there anywhere. I'd be more inclined to take advice from Morrissey, but far from being "the people's narcissist" that Russell self-proclaims, he's more of the anti-narcissist narcissist variety, which gets confusing.

So answers on a postcard.....or the comments box below for all you kids who don't know you're born....and aren't reading this......

.......do you like Russell? Does using a plethora of "big words" make you intelligent or more credible? Is he leading us all - whoever "us all" are - up the garden path so satisfy his own needs and keep himself in the spotlight? Can he be trusted? Will he overthrow the government by gaining enough votes from the Extra's industry alone? This sounds like the end of an episode of Danger Mouse. "Wherever there is danger he'll be there!".

THIIIIIIS IS THE TREWS, DUN DUN DUN DUN DA DUN, DA DA DA DUN, SUBSCRIBE HERE, SUBSCRIBE HERE!!!!!




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