Thursday, 22 January 2015

Can the elite ever be brought to justice?

Have you ever wondered why you rarely see society's "top-brass" fully getting what they deserve when they commit criminal acts? The only high profile casualties thus far have been 70's celebrities, one of whom was dead by the time the ugly truth hit us all for six and the rest are not far from their deathbeds anyway.

Anthony "WMD" Blair has been in the news recently, with calls for the - what's sure to be a legitimately thorough and unbiased - Iraq war report to get sorted out once and for all. It seems pretty obvious to me that these things take a long time for a reason, being that in amongst the daily mis-leadership and montage of tragic global events, we'll just forget it ever happened.  Like in the book '1984', when the english language becomes shortened and modified under our very noses every year until the very notion of opposing the system is beyond our comprehension. These issues usually get swept under the Number 10 carpet, so much so that there can't be much more room under there anymore, this Iraq inquiry just won't squeeze in with the rest of the lies and deceit we've been fed over the years.

When the inquiry does eventually materialise, it'll last a good 20 years and become the number one fictional soap opera in the most one-sided, open-shut case since OJ Simpson. The cap will fit perfectly and he'll still get off with a slap on the wrist and community service. The problem is, if he ever was incriminated, it'd set such a dangerous precedent for future governments that they might even have to play by the rules in future and listen to the people who voted them into power in the first place.

I, me, award-winning writer of this very blog, was carted off in a riot van once as an 11 year old for something I didn't do, once-upon-a-1991. A little boy, scared out of his wits, being fed detention centre horror stories of rape and bullying by a John Menzies security guard who'd either not seen enough action or was an ex-vietnam veteran who'd seen too much. It was like being in an episode of The Sweeney. I was just waiting for John Thaw to walk in and give me a lecture and a clip round the ear 'ole..

Tony Blair, on the other hand, plays a key role in starting a phoney war with subsequent deaths of thousands of civilians, the displacement and disappearance of countless families and children, makes the UK a huge target for terrorists and he's still wandering around free to baffle us all with strange arm gesticulations. Maybe he's trying to tell us something in sign language. It's probably backwards, subliminal sign language translating to, "I'm guilty and you'll never take me alive, HA HA!". I did more time than that guy!

I'm sure if he ever does get imprisoned, it will be posthumously. They'll drag it out until his funeral and then say to his decaying yet still eerily smiling face, "we're awfully sorry Tony, but you're going to have to pay the price for all those horrendous illegal fuck ups you made, there's nothing else for it, we're afraid".....before cremating him and keeping his Union Jack emblazoned urn in a luxurious, purpose-built prison cell, with excellent wi-fi signal and Jean Michel Jarre tasked with keeping the ashes entertained for an eternity. Blair was always a sucker for 80's French electro-pop.....'Oxygene, Part 1' was the official Downing Street theme tune to Gulf War 2, if you don't believe me, ask anyone.

This could be the answer, prisons are already bulging at the seams but housing the dead in prisons would offset the need for more graveyards. Why can't they just build extra stories on top of existing prisons? They built a roof on centre court, add extra tiers to existing football stadia, it's hardly beyond the rhealms of possibility. It couldn't possibly be an excuse to find cheaper methods to deal with criminals would it? Why is it so expensive to keep each prisoner? Are criminals really high maintenance? Is it for all those guards? Inmates are safer in there than we are out here, I want in!

Anyway, back on topic.....what about the The police chiefs who mishandled the mayhem of Hillsborough. Regardless of how the fans behaved, the police......the people we put our trust in, edited and defaced statements to save their own backs? The "TRUTH" came out a couple of years ago now and there's still been no actual justice. How about introducing a cash-back service where everyone get's a tenner for every day these cases are put off? It might look bad for the UK in general if everyone celebrates another day of injustice. Yeah, the idea of accepting blood money as a source of recompense is unsavoury and completely out of order. Sorry about that.

What about Emu? Some of you may remember that vicious little blighter? That little f**ker pecked shit out of the Queen! Pecking (anythinging) the Queen used to be an offence punishable by death, just goes to show how soft this country has become when it comes to crime. Although, if you're to go along with the conspiracy theory that Rod Hull's "arm" WAS Emu, you could argue that he already got his comeuppance. Come to think of it, maybe he didn't fall off that roof, maybe he was pushed? Who the hell climbs onto their roof to adjust the aerial anyway? Tony Blair could have taken over from where Rod's "arm" left off, given all that gesticulating practice he get's through. Maybe that should be his punishment.....just sat in a prison cell with Emu on his arm just pecking away at his own genitalia and with every peck, Grotbags squats up and down on his face. This sounds like a new episode of Black Mirror.

I'm winding down here.....I've barely scratched the surface when it comes to prominent world figures who get away with murder. Most of them are too obvious to mention, you're not stupid, you know who they are. We're generally so distracted by people who just annoy us on a basic day-to-day level, we haven't got time to worry about who really deserves our attention. Isn't it just a little too convenient? Maybe these annoying tosspots are placed into our lives to do just that? Is it so hard to imagine that 'The Truman Show' could be for real? That there isn't just one 'Truman'.....that the human race is 'Truman'? That one individual was playing the part of all of us?

So.....who belongs to the "cast"? Who are the unlikely hero's of the reductive assassination of our spiritual, true selves? Special 'Another Original Blog' mentions go to.......

John Barrowman, for pretending to be American, or Scottish, whichever, I'm not sure if he even knows anymore. 

Matthew Makonahey......I'm spelling that wrong....intentionally.....what a prick.

Fox News, for being the most detrimental force towards destroying everything that was once good within the human psyche.

Darth Vader....for making us believe that baddies were cool. They're not.....they're equally as tosspotty as the good guys......the same goes to Han Solo.....just the opposite. Jesus, Star reigned your greatness upon me creating delusions of grandeur I implicitly refuse to give up on. Lucas Arts.....are you in on this charade? I hope not, it'll eclipse even the Santa Claus debacle.

The ENTIRE audience for every episode of X Factor, The Voice and BGT and ensuring the national average IQ drops at least 10 digits annually. Every one involved in the inception of Big Brother, for completely smashing our moral compass to smithereens.

I'm completely bypassing terrorists here......and paedo's.......and footballers, we'll get to them another time, we've got bigger fish to fry, clearly.....

.....oh....and Justin Bieber, just for being a complete cock.....two years ago.....still counts.

I could go on all night....I want literally everyone in prison! Including YOU!

The end.

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