Saturday, 18 October 2014

Has "equality" ruined families?

It used to be a mans world, and within the upper echelons of society, it probably still is. Here in the real world though, I get the impression that things are decidedly different. I must stress that I am writing this as a man....I do everything as a man actually, it's kind of a rule of mine. Although when I was a small child, I was always a girl in my dreams and when I talked about my future with my family, I'd always prefix it with "mum, when I grow up and I'm a girl......". Yes, for some reason, I thought that at some point that I was going to turn into a girl.  Answers on a postcard for that one people....send them with a SAE to 1, Transgender Avenue, Confusion City.

I seem to be developing a habit of digressing and with it, divulging personal information that could be interpreted in the wrong way, I should really stop that. Where was I? Oh yes, I was in the middle of trying to explain that I'm a man (still) and in being one of them, my opinion may be biased in favour of the male of the species. So if you feel this is the case, feel free to berate and correct me.

My main point is to do with how women's role in society has changed in the past 30 years or so, and how that has had an effect on communities, workplaces and how children are being brought up. Even as I type, I just know that I'm going to come across like an old fashioned, belligerent, chauvinist pig. But as I've never been one to seek popularity, I shall continue my descent into the 'forever to be labelled a sexist' abyss.

For decades, centuries, eons even, families had a 'one working parent' dynamic. This worked brilliantly, men were free to pretend they were at work, when in actual fact, some of this time was spent relaxing, doing what they wanted. Smokey betting shops, football stadiums, whore houses around the country were brimming with good, honest, hard working fathers. Halcyon days I missed out on. Now we've actually got to do our bit, it's horrendous. I was born too late. This is of course, tongue in cheek and I've done all those things anyway (wink emoticon).

I just think everything has become way too complicated. Of course it's right that women are treated as equals and are free to chase a career in any field they want. I'm not questioning whether or not women are capable of doing anything that men have been doing for years, it's clear they can. Although don't get me started on female goalkeepers, I don't know whether to get angry at them or laugh.....yep, us men are better at catching stuff, there, I said it!

What I've noticed though, is that since women have been propelled into this new diverse and equal culture, it's all gotten a bit messy. I think women and people in general have been brainwashed into thinking that this is the way forward. Women should feel they can seek employment and a career in which they feel fulfilled and not enslaved by a husband and children, if that's what they want for themselves. But, the truth is, in my eyes, that this has created a system where both parents have to work and the children miss out on having a full time parent. I'm lucky enough that my ex-partner and mother of my children, is a childminder and therefore a full time parent also. I think it's having a profound effect on them and is a stabilising factor in their development.

Why do both parents need to work now? What is that extra wage going towards? Child care and stuff we don't need, that's what. Some of you might point at the spiralling house prices or the cost of living in general, but lots of things were much more expensive when I was growing up. Technology has come down dramatically, an old television the size of your living room, but with a screen half the size of your average plasma, would cost the same, 30 years ago......add another £75 if you wanted teletext! A modern expense has come from the pressure we feel to send our children to activity clubs. Kids have a better social life than adults these days, don't get me started on driving kids everywhere either. My daughter spoke to me like a butler the other week and don't pretend it hasn't happened to you either!

It's also had a detrimental effect on our communities. When both parents have been working, people are too tired to or rushed to talk to a neighbour. It probably has a detrimental effect on how we interact with our children too. Tired mums and dads can easily become lazy, disinterested parents. I wonder how it's had an effect on the rising rates of divorce? I don't need to stress how this all may affect the kids of today....I could, but this is a blog, not a novel.

I was an 80's child. I don't feel old but I am old enough to have seen times change hugely and the dynamic of family culture has changed beyond recognition.  I'm not blaming women, they're simply evolving, but change isn't always good.  All we've done is create a culture where we're more rushed, have less quality time to spend with the people that our most important to us, and have given in to a peer pressure environment where it's the things we give are more important than the time we give. Fuck iphones, fuck having an extra wage, fuck social media, fuck holidays, possessions we don't need, superficial crap, selfies, fuck the fear mongering of 24 hour News and most of all, fuck being a slave to money and the corruption that it brings. Let's get back to what make's families and communities what they once were.

For the record, I didn't intend on this turning into a rant, but it seems to have turned out that way! What do women really want? Do they want a career that they will soon turn their back on when they have children, only to realise that they are already entrapped by the system we've created, the system the powers that be want us to exist within in order to keep the status quo.

So to my controversial finale......women are nurturers, men are workers (feeling somewhat emasculated, sitting here with an unemployed status, but I'm ploughing on regardless). That's the way it's always been. Maybe it'll all work out in the end, maybe what I've just pointed out are a bunch of side effects and teething problems whilst we move to a new, fairer society. I really hope so. I really hope I'm wrong, I usually am anyway so don't panic.

If you've been affected by any of the topics on my blog, don't contact a qualified organisation, contact me! Seriously though, I'd like to hear from any of you who feel the same....or feel that I'm talking complete and utter garbage. All feedback is appreciated.....enjoy your weekend peeps.

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